When you engage a prospect during the earliest stages of the business relationship, do you ask manipulative, long-winded “qualifying” questions? Or do you ask simple “do-based” questions that help you to gauge whether you should even be talking to this person?

There is a difference. Here’s an example of what a typical “qualifying question” sounds like, according to one supposed “expert” in sales training whose counsel I found on-line:

“Would you like some information about our company and what we do?”

Here’s another example from a different trainer, also posted proudly on an Internet web-site as an example of a great “qualifying” question:

"If you felt that our program could help your company improve efficiency, reduce overhead and at the same time, improve quality, is this something that you would want to know more about?"

And here’s another classic “qualifying question” you can find on-line from yet another trainer:

“If you could change one aspect about your current arrangement, what would it be?”

There is a stubborn sales myth that has grown up around these types of questions. The myth is that they enable salespeople to build rapport with, and gain meaningful information from, the prospects they encounter on the phone or in person.

They don’t. These kinds of questions turn prospects off and shut down lines of communication. If you doubt this, ask yourself how you would respond if you were asked one of these questions by someone who had either just called you on the telephone or had come in to meet you for the very first time. Would you instantly open up to the other person?

Would you say: “Yes, please -- do me a favor and share whatever information about your company you feel is appropriate for my situation.”

Would you say: “You know what? If your program could help my company improve efficiency, reduce overhead, and at the same time improve quality, I really would want to find out more about the program. Not only that, I’d want to learn about the program as soon as possible. Please take a moment now to give me an overview of your company’s proof on these three points.”

Would you say: “I’m glad you called – I was hoping a total stranger would get in touch with me this morning to discuss the one aspect of my current arrangement that I would change. It’s shipping. We have a real problem with on-time delivery from our current vendor.”

Of course, you wouldn’t say any of those things. You’d probably say something noncommittal or vaguely polite – or, if you were having a hard day, you might even terminate the conversation then and there. But you wouldn’t be likely to share all the information about your situation that you knew and that the salesperson doesn’t know.

That’s because these kinds of elaborate “qualifying” questions are not really based on what the buyer does. They’re based on what we, as salespeople do. We have to share information about our company. We have to convey the benefits of our product or service. We have to set ourselves apart from the competition. Prospects, however, are not interested in doing any of those things. They’re interested in their own situation.

When we ask briefly and directly about what the other person does, we are much more likely to get some kind of indication of his or her actual situation … and we’re also more likely to determine whether that person truly has an interest in talking to us about what we do.

Here’s an example of a simple “do-based” question that gets right to the heart of the matter, a question that is very likely to give you an immediate and accurate indication of whether or not there’s something to talk about with your contact:

Just out of curiosity – have you ever worked with a widget wholesaler before?

By asking this kind of question, we not only engage the other person, we also encourage him or her, in an unthreatening way, to share a relevant true story from his or her business experience. That story, if we hear it, will be built around what the business actually does. When we hear that story, we will be in a much better position than we were to gauge the other person’s true level of interest.

When asking questions early in the relationship, focus on simple questions that illuminate what the other person actually does. Use those kinds of questions to engage… then gauge. And skip the silly, manipulative questions that some of the “experts” out there try to get you to ask at the beginning of the sales process.

About the Author

Stephan Schiffman is the president of D.E.I. Management Group, Inc., one of the largest sales training companies in the U.S. He is the author of a number of best-selling books including Cold Calling Techniques (That Really Work!), and The 25 Sales Skills They Don’t Teach You at Business School. Schiffman’s articles have appeared in many publications including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and INC. Magazine. He has also appeared as a guest on CNBC’s Minding Your Business, How to Succeed in Business, Smart Money and TCI’s Arlington Business Today. For more information about Schiffman and D.E.I. Management, please call (800) 224-2140 or visit www.dei-sales.com.